Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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