in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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