I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
