answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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