Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
pop tarts are not kleenex
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
