Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
