if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
