Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
