In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
