I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Terrible idea I love it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
