just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
