i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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