the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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