I didn't shave. On purpose
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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