i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize