It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
