the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize