So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
