What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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