There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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