drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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