guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Can I color on your dick again?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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