He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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