OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
