Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
