Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize