I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
