Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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