somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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