I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
