6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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