Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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