It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
