Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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