I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
