i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
two words: eviction party
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
