As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
