Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
