I saw his package. It spoke to me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
