i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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