I cannot find my penis.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
