They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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