Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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