Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
