if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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