I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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