Whod you bang
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
