Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she smelled like a LAN party
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
