do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
