Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
