its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
