it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
