remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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