well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
