i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
worst night to have a conscience
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
