so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
