I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
