Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
