I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
