I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
