So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
