Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
