pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
