I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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