I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
