Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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