two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize