he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
