I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
