If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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