To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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