she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
