First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
