Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
