Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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